Eluding the Drunken Taxicabs of Reality

cinnabar_tx @ 2009-12-12T17:44:00

2009-12-12T23:44:06Z

I never know how to start an entry after a long time away, which is becoming really typical. There's the usual "Sorry it's been forever, blah blah..." but that seems too cliched. Actually, what usually happens is that I somehow feel bad for not posting anything in ages, and for some reason that makes me avoid it more. (Yes, I'm weird.)

Two major things of note to report....

First is that Santa Claus came to my door a bit early this year... he was dressed as the FedEx delivery man, sent by my awesome parents to deliver my new KitchenAid mixer! It's dark, dark blue, and looks black in the low light of my kitchen. Just using it for the first time today, to make whole-wheat blackberry muffins. Will probably make chocolate pancakes (at the request of BrianBob) when the muffins are done and I get all the hardware washed. I've taken some pics of the mixer (as well as a reflection of me in the chrome of the mixer bowl) that I'll try to post here soon. I'm really looking forward to making homemade bread without my bread machine! There's also an interesting apple pie recipe in the book that came with it... I've never tried making homemade pie crust before!

The second is that I had another passing-out episode Wednesday night, resulting in another trip to the ER. Thank God(dess) I wasn't driving; I was waiting at Pep Boys (just up the road from the apartment) for them to finish fixing the truck. I went back to my neurologist yesterday, and she's scheduled me for another MRI for Monday afternoon. I might end up having an EEG also; those folks are supposed to call me sometime this week and let me know how much it costs.

Yes, I'll admit it... at this point I'm more freaked out about money than anything. It's NOT FAIR NOT FAIR NOT FAIR that ER/etc bills are so expensive when you don't have a choice on shopping around! And I have insurance, at that.... I feel for those folks who don't.

The other thing I'm dealing with is a nagging sense of shame and embarrassment over the whole mess that's making it hard to talk about. (I've shed more than a few tears since it happened.) My parents, BrianBob, and the folks at work have been nothing but supportive, but the feelings are still there. That's partly why I'm writing here, so I can "halve the pain", as harmonylsc wrote recently.

I will be highly grateful for any prayers/energy/happy thoughts sent my way... Even in the midst of my freakouts, I know that God(dess) is in control of the situation, and I will be guided through this rough patch so that I come out stronger (and healthier) on the other side.

I fully intend there to be more happy posts in the near future, as I play with my new Christmas mixer!

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Merry Yule and a wonderful New Year!

cinnabar_tx @ 2009-09-22T18:26:00

2009-09-22T23:28:41Z

Sometimes it's amazing to feel the inner changes that come just from the act of forgiving yourself. I feel like my own heroine now... I can do anything!

cinnabar_tx @ 2009-09-20T22:41:00

2009-09-21T03:45:46Z

I had a cool cultural experience this evening...

I was making dinner, which was an Hindu-Indian style bharta with tomatoes, zucchini, green pepper, and chicken. I say Hindu-Indian because, to contrast, at the same time I was listening to our local public radio station, which had a show on featuring traditional pow-wow style music from Native American Indians!

I love this country! :-)

Freedom...

2009-09-07T22:36:54Z

I think there's nothin' like flying around the skating rink on my 8 wheels, with an iPod full of trance plugged into my ears! As my Grandpa used to say, "Boys, this is livin'!" :-)

YAY!

2009-09-07T22:32:56Z

Brian and I are now Uncle Brian and Aunt Leah! His brother Kody and his lady Carly welcomed their daughter Astrea Tilden on Friday, Sept. 6th, at 6:33 am. Mom and Baby are both home now and doing fine.

We've seen pics, but haven't gone to see her in person yet... hopefully we'll get to do that this coming Sunday, depending on Brian's work schedule (he starts a new job on Friday).

Congrats to the new family!

Random overheard comment

2009-05-25T22:54:23Z

"You know what would make a good motivator? Chick-fil-A."

- fellow tenant in my apartment complex to her friends as they were going out to the car to go somewhere

cinnabar_tx @ 2009-05-19T21:38:00

2009-05-20T02:42:25Z

Found out today that Fox is renewing Dollhouse for another season. Squeee!!!

If y'all on my F-list (or anyone else) haven't seen this show, definitely get thee over to Hulu and check it out!

Of closing doors and opening windows (big windows!)

2009-04-18T03:54:59Z

This week has been a bit of a rollercoaster...

But, I'm sitting here at the end of it on the upside. Starting Monday, I have a new job, as a customer service person/estimator/graphics girl at a sign and graphics company just a little ways east of Denton. I had actually sent my resume to them back around this past Labor Day, but it wasn't the right time then. I got an email from them this past Thursday, letting me know about the open position and asking if I was interested. I let them know I was, and I had my interview Thursday morning. It was just about the best interview I've ever had... the two owner ladies and I got along swimmingly. I was there for about an hour, but it didn't feel nearly that long!

They'd told me they would make a decision early this coming week, but I must have impressed the socks off of them, because I got my official offer email this morning! YAWP!!

Super super Thank-Yous again, with sprinkles and cherries on top, to everyone who's been praying for me and sending me energy and happy thoughts... I seriously appreciate it!

cinnabar_tx @ 2009-04-04T16:19:00

2009-04-04T21:24:22Z

I found out on Friday that I officially have the medical records clerk job! Thanks again to everyone who's been sending prayers/energy/happy thoughts for the job situation.

The only downside right now is that the stress from the accident brought on a skin allergy attack, so right now I'm rashy and uncomfortable. Prayers/energy for healing would be greatly appreciated!

Speaking of healing, the truck goes to the shop on Monday for its reconstructive surgery, and I should have it back by Thursday evening. I'm very thankful that my car insurance is arranging for me a rental car so I can get to work.

Too freakin' CUTE....

2009-03-24T17:53:39Z

Found this link via the great BoingBoing...

AT-ATs: not just for X-mas

I had one of these (yes, it was a Christmas gift!) when I was about 5... I wish I'd kept it!

Quote for the day...

2009-01-19T17:10:53Z

...courtesy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."

Can I get an Amen? :-)

Random holiday realization...

2008-12-09T23:05:25Z

...from last night.

You can string 2 verses of "Amazing Grace" onto the melody line of 1 verse of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear."

New Job, Pets, Cooking

2008-11-09T17:59:14Z

Yes, the new job is going very, very well! I love being less than 10 minutes away from home; I even come home for lunch most of the time. I also like "working" with 2 sweet, affectionate dogs and 1 sassy cat who thinks she owns the place (she's known for jumping on your desk and laying in front of your keyboard while you're trying to work - she does this to me as well as to my boss). The work itself is fairly easy, but at the same time I'm learning a lot about real estate.

It's great having dogs to pet on a regular basis now, but of course it's stirring up the longings for a puppeh of my own. This past weekend we were in Wal-Mart and we saw another lady with an adorable Yorkie puppy in her purse! We'd seen one before, a few months back. Unfortunately, the apartment will only let us have one pet (meh) and we already have BrianBob's kitty AlleyCat. So it'll probably be at least another year before I get a puppy. *sigh*

I'm still having queries about what I want to do with my life. Yes, there's the graphic/web design side job, but that's been a little frustrating lately... They asked me if I could clone a Flash site which on the surface looked simple enough, but once I got into it, turns out to be beyond my current level of expertise. Last night I ordered a "beyond the basics" book about Flash from Amazon, so hopefully that'll help. But even so, lately it seems hard to get motivated about things graphical. I don't know why, and it's very frustrating.

What I'm enjoying more than most things these days is cooking. I said recently that I wished there were some little hometown cafe where I could go cook every now and then - hometown because that's my style of cooking (very laid-back), and because they probably wouldn't care that I haven't been to culinary school. Earlier this week in the book I'm reading (The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch), I read a bit about a dinner that the main character had. Everything sounded so delicious, and I was pondering in my head how I could make it in real life! Yesterday BrianBob suggested that I look into starting my own catering company. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea...

Adios to the scooter shack!

2008-10-20T21:46:55Z

Last Tuesday, I had an interview with a real estate broker up in Denton, who works out of her house and needs an office assistant. I didn't get the change to post about it then, because I had a minor period of stressing out due to job hunt, freelance design work, etc. Well, that all worked itself out, and the lady was supposed to let me know something by the end of last week. Friday came and went and I didn't hear anything. I was all cool by this time, even dashed off a cover letter/resume combo that afternoon to another Denton job I saw posted on Craigslist. I was ready to buy yet another Sunday paper, and go through the classifieds yet again.... because I am persistent, dammit!

But the broker lady called Sunday afternoon (before I'd bought the paper) to offer me the job. I start a week from today, and it's less than 10 minutes from my house. Hallelujah, Thank God(dess)!

And thank all of you, too, on my F-list for the prayers/energy/happy thoughts. They're highly appreciated! I'll keep y'all up to date on the new job as it happens... the lady (Michele) made a point of saying that every day is pretty much different from the one that came before. Which works just fine for me!

YAWP!!

cinnabar_tx @ 2008-10-12T20:40:00

2008-10-13T02:03:38Z

Tonight I was reminded again how hanging out with good friends (or, in this case, a good friend) can help one's mood considerably.

Last night BrianBob and I went down to Arlington; what was going to be an evening playing pool with Kody (his brother) turned into a night with the three of us listening to live music at a local dive with his friend Jay. Jay was certainly enjoying his beer... the most entertaining part of the night was watching him almost lose his shorts in the impromptu mosh pit that formed with the death metal band was playing. Good times, good times... ;-)

But I digress. The main point was that BrianBob and I didn't get back to Denton until just after 2 am... which put my sleep schedule off, and made me feel all blah and almost depressed today. After I took BrianBob to work around 4 this afternoon, I went over to Mark's to help him move some stuff to the storage. I was feeling pretty crappy when I got there, but by the time we got to the storage place and were moving the stuff up to his space, our talking and laughing back and forth was helping a lot; the Chinese buffet afterwards helped even more (esp. considering I hadn't had enough protein with lunch).

Right across the street from the buffet is a construction site where I've heard they're building another Wally-World. After we were done eating, I suggested to Mark that we go take photos of the construction equipment, which, as usual, was all lined up very nicely and photogenically. I was thinking we'd take our photos from across the street, but no... we crossed the street, stepped over the low not-quite-fence, and walked onto the site with our cameras! The light from the setting sun was just beautiful, and we both got a lot of good pics. At this point, my emotional malaise was entirely gone. :-)

And now, for the promised pic of AlleyCat, my step-kitteh...

Home sweet apartment

2008-10-02T19:24:30Z

It was a stressful move, mostly because I hadn't packed up nearly enough, and I stressed myself into a nice attack of the itchy hives because of it (and called in sick Monday as a result of feeling so utterly crappy), but in the end all went well... BrianBob and I are all moved in to the new place in Denton!

He's been SUCH a big help... from getting the last loads of random stuff out of my old place, to setting up things at the new place while I'm at work during the day (he works in the afternoon/evening), I couldn't ask for a better roomie - or a better boyfriend! I thank God(dess) for him every day.

The new place has a really good vibe... I think from where our stuff just looks right arranged together. (Brian does an awesome job arranging it, too!) He's also put his considerable carpentry skills to work, building us a nice tall bedframe that you have to have a stool to get into/out of (I've always wanted one of those!) and a stand-up/barstool height computer desk (for 3 computers) along one wall of the spare bedroom/office. I'll take pictures and share them soon, as well as a photo of Brian's kitty AlleyCat, who I'm calling my step-kitteh! LOL

The other night, to reward him for all his efforts, I made him Mexican-style brownies! Just add 1 tsp each of cinnamon and cayenne pepper to a family-size box of brownie mix (made in a 13 x 9 pan) and WOW...

Whoa... this is definitely worth a try!

2008-09-19T04:13:55Z

I found this post on my local womanish/new-agey/artsy/spiritualist Yahoo newsgroup, Moonlady News. Not sure who the author/poster is (other than her name), but this caught my attention, in a majorly good way.

President Obama Visualization Project

Posted to Moonlady News on Sept. 18th
by Kris Marohn, aka nature.goddess

Dear Friends of President Obama,

Doesn't that have a nice ring to it? Doesn't it make your hearts skip a beat? Ours do! Especially when we consider how critical this election is for the future of our great country, our one world, and our beautiful planet.

We have been the best of friends for twenty years. Though we now live on separate coasts, we often find ourselves in synch with our thoughts and ideas.

Last night, almost simultaneously, we had the same inspired thought: To visualize President Obama having a long and historically successful career in The White House during our evening meditations. When we realized this we knew we had to share this idea with those of you who share the same vision to have Barack Obama and Joe Biden be our next President and Vice-President.

Why?

After the last election it became clear to us that The Republicans openly practice something that The Democrats generally do not -- at least not in an organized fashion. What is that? Prayer.

Now the reason The Democratic Party doesn't openly pray is because of a little Jeffersonian turn-of-phrase called, "Separation of Church and State." However, religious views aside, prayer can be another word for intention setting and visualization. Since the Law of Attraction has now become common knowledge (Thank you Oprah and Larry King!) and the copious medical documentation promoting the wonderful health benefits of meditation (Thank you Dr. Oz and Deepak Chopra and Others!), we are going on the assumption here that many of you are familiar with the concepts of the Law of Attraction and the idea of creating reality through thoughts and feelings.

So we are respectfully asking you to join us in including a triumphant image of President Obama in your daily meditation, prayer, affirmation, or visualization practices for a few moments each day until victory. If you don't formally meditate, et al., don't worry about it. You can do this visualization while brushing your teeth or sitting in traffic. You can be really as creative as you want to be with how you want to see President Obama succeed. Feel the joy of his inauguration! Conjure the peace of seeing him speaking in The White House Rose Garden. See President Obama speaking with world leaders on the news and experience the satisfaction. Bask in the relief that President Obama and Vice-President Biden are in the Oval Office.

Hallelujah!

2008-09-18T15:10:45Z

... We got the apartment!

Through a small miracle and an incredibly understanding apartment manager, the new apartments approved BrianBob and I even though he's still in the process of finding someone to take over his lease (which should happen by this weekend, methinks). They decided to approve us on the basis of both our steady employments and my stellar rental history. :-)

Now the logistical fun begins! We're signing the lease this Saturday, and moving stuff in over the next week. The free movers (YAY!) should be coming for my furniture & stuff a week from Saturday.

I'm moving back to Denton... I'm moving back to Denton! *sings & does happy dance*

I will make it through this month, praise God(dess)....

2008-09-16T19:29:17Z

And the job search continues... Last Wednesday I went in to fill out an application for an employment agency in Denton. They had me do some online tests - Word, Excel, typing, etc. Still haven't heard from them.

However, on Friday I spoke with Eric, the manager of an agency in Lewisville (where I live), whom my boss had contacted to see about finding my replacement. I was telling him what all I did here at the current day job, and when I told him about why I wanted to leave (moving to Denton, don't want to drive from Denton to Dallas & back every day, etc.), he asked "would you like some help?" Heck, yes! I emailed him my resume, and went in to talk to him this morning. He was very nice and personable, and after talking with me about what all I'd done career-wise, he seemed to think that I shouldn't have any trouble finding office admin work... and more than likely at a higher rate than what I'm making now... Yay! I feel very confident that with Eric on the case, I will have a new job very soon. Thanks to my f-list for the continued prayers/energy/happy thoughts!

Next hurdle? The apartment. For a 2-BR, BrianBob and I both had to fill out applications. Mine was approved quite handily, I'm sure, but BrianBob is needing to find someone to take over his current lease ASAP. (Another delay was that his apartment manager was out of town until yesterday.) We should have started looking for a re-leaser earlier, but one ad placed last week on Craigslist has only produced 1 person who wants to come look at the place (another lady said she'd come have a look, but then was "stuck in a meeting" on the appointed day and time, and we never heard from her again). Then there were the people who emailed with questions, even when the ad listed Bob's phone number and specifically said to call... Hopefully the guy who's supposed to come look at it tomorrow will want to sign the lease ASAP. I put the ad back up on Craigslist last night, too, just in case. Our lease-signing date at the new place is supposed to be this Friday... I'm so used to planning well in advance that this is wearing on my nerves a bit (esp. the part where I'm waiting on other people I don't know - lack of control, etc.) but I'm staying positive that we'll make it!

Java = love

2008-08-28T15:11:56Z

I can see why the ancients used coffee beans as a form of currency...

Just having my first (and only) cup 'o joe of the day here at work, and I'm feeling SOOO much better and more awake now!

WTF??, etc.

2008-08-25T18:45:04Z

Some person of highly questionable morals and no sense of karma broke into my truck last night and made off with my XM radio reciever, as well as the car chargers for my iPod and my cell phone. Yes, the truck was locked at the time; they apparently got in through the "beer window" in the back.

No damage to the truck itself, fortunately... and I also realize they could have stolen the truck itself, but they didn't, thank God(dess). Still, I feel somehow violated... I called XM to report the radio stolen (each of their radios has a unique ID), and they offered to send me another radio for less than half of what I paid for the original, plus no activation fee.

Plus, my internet and phone are out at home, due to a freak storm directly over my apartment Saturday nite (complete with a loud-ass thunderclap that sounded like a bomb going off). I called Verizon about it, and they were supposed to send a technician out yesterday... but unfortunately the rep I spoke with put in the wrong service date. Grr! I had to call again to reschedule for this afternoon; fortunately Mark the self-employed is available to be at the house when the technician comes. (I made him some cookies, and told him he was welcome to anything in the fridge, including the beer.)

Another minor stressor that's kinda exciting at the same time... Brian and I are going home to Kingsport for Labor Day weekend! I'm a little more nervous about the outgoing travel arrangements than usual, since I'll have to pick Brian up in Denton after work and get back down to the airport, but I'm confident that things will run smoothly.

cinnabar_tx @ 2008-08-20T11:16:00

2008-08-20T16:34:05Z

What with mah buddy revrb posting about his dreams lately, I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon, too, concerning a dream I had Monday night.

The beginnings of it are muddled, but I was hanging out with Mark (I think it was Mark), up in some backwoods hillbilly mountains. He had recently gotten to know this family/clan of people who lived there. There was something he wanted to show me, so I followed him to the top of this ravine with a hilly/rocky dirt path leading down into it. I'm all for a good hike, and I remember telling him that this particular trail would have been so cool... if it weren't for the 3 dead guys along the path, left in random positions as though they had been dumped there. I didn't look too closely at them, being a little creeped/grossed out, but I think at least one was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt.

So we kept going on the trail, and it eventually led up into a cave which went straight back into the mountain. This particular cave, as it turned out, was the family crypt for the mountain people Mark had been hanging out with. I remember there were shelves carved into the sides of the cave for the bodies, which were laid out lengthwise going back into the cave/crypt. I didn't look too closely at the bodies, but I did notice that there were these kids going back and forth about their business, taking care of the crypt, I suppose. All the caretaker kids were wearing skull masks.

Eventually, as we went further back into the crypt, the place changed from a cave into what looked like the inside of a residential house, and I have a vague recollection of the bodies changing into humanoid cats - people with human bodies and cat heads. One cat-head guy was still alive, just chilling and relaxing in a spot where a body would go. I remember he was wearing a suit. There was a cute little black kitten (with a normal kitten body) with him, and I got to play with it.

Then, when Mark and I were walking out, we went through this living-room-type area, which had a bunch of colorful art on the left wall, on something that looked like a classroom chalkboard. The art was all standard-paper-size, about 8 1/2 x 11, and seemed to be made out of glossy painted ceramic tile.

That was, without a doubt, the most vivid dream I have had in absolutely ages.

Writer's Block: The Best Invention

2008-08-11T21:01:03Z

What would you consider to be the single greatest invention in the history of the world? Why?

Submitted By brianmorris

View 500 Answers

I've thought about this one before, and I think I'd have to say, IMHO..... (drum roll, please)....

The Library! (*loud cheers, claps, hoots, horns, etc.*)

It's absolutely phenomenal... a place where they will let you borrow books (and even CDs and DVDs, now) on a wide range of subjects, fiction and all sorts of non-fiction... for FREE!

You can expand your brain without shrinking your wallet or the amount of your long-term house/apartment/etc. storage space. Pure genius, I say!

Corollary - The Internet, which is basically just a humongous Library fed through wires.

More friendses, I have them!

2008-07-28T19:08:17Z

... and more importantly, a new sense of self-respect.

This weekend, I went through part 2 of an experience-based training that, according to the website (link here), "enable(s) you to effectively deal with past experiences that changed you into who you are, instead of who you want to be." I actually went through Part 1 a month ago, and wasn't really sure how to explain it, so I decided to wait until after Part 2.

I found out about this organization through Mark, who was doing a video for them. Naturally, they wanted him to go through the training so he could grok what they're all about. He found it very valuable, and so he lovingly nagged me into it. There were some hard, frustrating times in the class, and it caused me to wonder what I, as someone who has had a relatively easy life (for which I'm definitely thankful), could possibly gain from a program that mainly caters to folks who were abused, or are living with serious anger issues, or fighting addictions, etc. But, as they say in class, we all have to play with the cards we're dealt...

And I think it was definitely worth it! my self-esteem is much improved, and I no longer feel invisible, or ashamed of the skin condition I've had on and off since birth, or like I'm not good enough in my chosen career path. More importantly, I also feel more connected to and compassionate toward other people, as I realize that any person I pass on the street or deal with day-to-day is dealing with their own stuff.

...And even more importantly, I have a whole passel of new friends (there were 26 of us in the class), coming from a wide range of backgrounds & life experiences, who range in age from 18 to mid-40s! These are some of the sweetest, funniest, most caring folks I've ever met.

As a result of this, I want to try and stay in better touch with my other buddies as well... yes, this means y'all! If I don't have your email address, please let me know...

On cool street names...

2008-07-10T17:37:59Z

I just printed an envelope to send some scooter title paperwork to a customer in Connecticut. Where does he live?

On Witches Rock Road.

I'm acquainted with several folks of the pagan persuasion, and that's a very true statement... Witches DO rock. ;-)